📌Blog anniversary: 3 years (victory #16)

I’m so happy! Keep open and updated this blog for 3 years is amazing for me, sometimes with bipolar disorder is difficult be constant, i always wanna change and do new and different things, but this blog is a solid comfort zone for me and is exactly what i wanted when i opened it.

A free space where i can be myself, where i can write about my mental illness, witouth being judje or attacked. I wanna thanks everyone that had read and comment here, really thank you.

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Brain, i can sleep please?

Have you ever have that moment when you are exausted, but your brain decide that sleeping is not the answer? I’m there in this days. Tonight, or better this morning (7 am), my thoughts was super fast and i was really, really tired, but all the extra dose of quetiapine that i can take didn’t work and i start having panick attacks, so i was there in the bed with my eyes wide open and the sensation to can’t breath. I guess i’m in a mixed episode with mania. Is the thing i hate the most about bipolar disorder, not being able to sleep.

World Mental Health Day!

“You have to get over it”, “learn how to live”. The stigma i suffered in my life is strong, and it comes from the people more close to me. I have a diagnosis and i’m disabled, but people keep thinking, i’m just a lazy person that don’t know how to talk to people.

My illness is invisible, but at the same time is not, the impact i had physically is horrible. Is not “just inside my head”, my mental illness give me: back, shoulder, neck, legs, knees constant pain, urinary problems, belly problems, I can’t coordinate my legs so sometimes even walking is difficult, i go crash against furniture a lot and i’m full of bruises. Also acne, nausea and headache.

My immune systemn is bad and i’m always sick, i’m sick right now, i catched a cold immediately after the air had started to be chilly.

This is the result of my illness and the meds i take for it, I have bipolar mixed type, i’m “meds resistant”, i have anxiety, panick attack, suicide thoughts, social phobia, dyscalculia and binge eating.

But if i talk about it i’m an “attention sicker” everytime i write some comments on Twitter there someone that write to me “you have a list of your illnesses in your bio, you are an attention sicker”, you know what? My twitter profile is about my blog, and my blog is about my mental illness, so what i have to put in the bio? The list of my favorite foods? I don’t understand.

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Inktober 2019

Like the last year, this october i do the Inktober challenge, everyday of this month i have to do a drawing following the official prompt list or in my case the list i had do for myself! The original challenge had to be done with ink, but with the meds my hands tremble, so i do this digitally! Today i had done the first drawing, i had so much fun last year, i hope to complete the challenge again.

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